Going through a divorce is difficult enough as it is. Adding kids into the situation makes things even more complicated. You may be concerned about how you’ll explain the divorce to your children in a way that they’ll be able to understand. Your concerns aren’t unreasonable, either. Kids are incredibly susceptible during a divorce and vulnerable to being negatively affected if you don’t handle it properly.
Beyond the emotional shock of having to accept that your family will no longer be the same, there will also be potential legal struggles. Battling over child support, custody, and whose property is whose are not uncommon either. If you’re going through a divorce, here are some of the best tips to see you through.
Not All Kids Are The Same
Not all children react the same when they are faced with their parents separating. The same as not all people are the same, neither are children. It depends on their nature, age, and specific set of circumstances.
You’ll find that some younger children may end up developing separation anxiety or behavioral regressions like peeing the bed or refusing to speak, w older children may blame themselves for the divorce and start acting out angrily in school.
All of this is entirely normal and will eventually subside. The most important thing is to encourage them to speak about how they feel and assure them that everything will be ok. They need your love and encouragement more than ever.
Explain Things Clearly
There’s no point in beating around the bush when it comes to breaking the news to your kids. The more that you try to sugar coat it or try to cover the facts the less they’ll be able to move forward.
Explain what’s going on to your child in ways that they’ll be able to understand. Rather than using complicated adult language, try to use simple terms which explain that you’ll no longer be a couple. However, reassure them that you will both still love them and be there for them no matter what.
Maintain A Consistent Routine
Since there are already so many changes going on in your child’s life, it’s important to try to give them as much reassurance and predictability as possible. School pickup times, and drop-offs should remain the same, and their favorite activities should still be a part of the schedule.
Practice Self Care
Don’t forget that in order to be the best possible parent you should also take care of yourself. By giving yourself the tools that you need to be the best you can be, the better of a parent you’ll be.
Try not to beat yourself up too much and be patient with yourself. You may not be perfect, but you are doing just fine if you’re trying your best! No one said this would be easy.