This post is perhaps as much for the kids as it is for their parents – the kids who are old enough to realise that they can get a lot of value out of reading a blog about parenting, that is…
But yeah, I can remember back to the days when I was in my teens, totally convinced at one point that my parents absolutely hate me. In fact, I was convinced that all adults who claim to love me in actual fact hated me, mostly because of what I thought were very restrictive, primitive and outright stupid rules they imposed on us kids.
Worse yet there was one of those picture-poems hanging in the study which was basically going on about a parent’s love for their children, presumably more from the mother. It pretty much just goes on about how children will never understand the love of a parent until they themselves become parents, at which point it’s normally way too late to even being to try and express the ensuing gratitude which is often mixed in with the guilt of realising just how ungrateful they are.
I guess it’s perhaps just one of those things we have to deal with, but for all which is criticised about how modern day living is turning out, something like the fact that many people are having kids very early on in their lives could yet be viewed to be a blessing in disguise. If your child already has children of their own then they totally understand just what you had to deal with in terms of having to be responsible for a whole other being. It’s perhaps your turn also to gain an understanding as to just why grandparents tend to spoil their grandkids rotten, much to the ire of the parents proper.
For any child who is absolutely convinced their parents hate them it can be really hard to convince them that it is, in fact, the total opposite of what they believe. It’s hard to convince you that your “primitive-minded” birth-givers are not just out to make sure your life is as boring as theirs seemingly is, but deep down inside you really do know that there is no greater love than that a parent has for their child. Whether you care to admit it or not, to yourself or to anybody else, you just know it’s true.
So if there are any parents out there who are having a hard time getting it across to their kids that absolutely everything they do is for the good of their kids, perhaps just trying to communicate with them on a level they understand is better. Never just say “No” as a final answer which is not at the very least up for discussion. And I say up for discussion – not necessarily open for negotiation.
Your decision to say “No” to whatever request was made may in itself be final, but at least explain to them exactly why it is you said no so that they can at least try to understand, even if it’s sometime down the line when they’ve cooled off and aren’t that angry at you anymore.