This is another one of those topics which aren’t particularly nice to have to discuss, but one which is very necessary to discuss nevertheless. In all honestly we haven’t as yet experienced any one of our girls reporting to us that they’ve been teased for having gay parents, but I say “as yet” because quite honestly it’s something I’ve come to expect and something I’ve made preparations for in terms of how to deal with it.
I’m in no way suggesting that through my expectation of it that I’m okay with it or that it’s justified. I’m merely relaying what I believe to be a practical approach to a very real problem which unfortunately still exists in this day and age.
Now I’m a fully grown man and have been through the wars in terms of the ridicule and prejudice, all of which I managed to live through and thrive, so what’s important for me is how my daughters deal with these types of challenges. At the end of the day, it’s all about them and from what I understand it’s more likely to happen to boys who grow up in a household with two daddies than any other combination of a modern family which involves a same-sex marriage.
Leave the door open
It’s up to you as the parent to find out if your child is being teased for having a gay parent so you must ask them about it. They may not spontaneously come to you about it because for the first time in their lives their domestic arrangements could be cast in a different light and we all know just how cruel kids can actually be. So ask your child about it and let them know that if it ever happens then they should know that they can and should always come to you.
Focus on what’s important
Now things can get really difficult in terms of how your child reacts to being taunted and perhaps even bullied and victimised for having gay parents. In this and in every other case you’ll have to focus on what’s important and make sure your child also knows what’s important, which is the fact that yours is a relationship built on love and care and that nothing anybody says or does can change that. It’s important to establish solidarity and present a united front comprised out of you and your child against the rest of the people in this world whose minds and thoughts are backwards.
It’s perhaps not likely to happen, but the last thing you want is for your child to start blaming you for the situation they find themselves in – a situation which was never an issue until outside forces started pointing things out.
Remember that for the most part children only really start perpetuating things which they hear and learn from the most important figures in their lives, like their parents, so the views they hold could perhaps still be shaped through education.
I always tell my daughters that should they experience any of such prejudice then they should no longer be friends with the perpetrators. That little dynamic always makes them question their actions in a manner which eventually leads them to having to choose between their twisted views or their friendship with my kids.